Words of The Lamb magazine

by Dale Mahfood

&&& When he asked me to launch out into the sea and let down my fishing nets—after my partners and I had been fishing all night—I have to admit, I had serious misgivings. And I told him so. But because he was my teacher, who I had recently decided to follow—and I’d grown fond of him—I did what he said.

&&& How long after. I don’t know. Time seemed to take a break. Until the net I was holding gave a jolt, causing the rope to burn my right hand. A similar thing happened to my fishing partner’s net. A tug of war ensued between us and the nets, with the nets having the leading edge. We called out to our other partners, who were in a nearby boat. They rowed over with great haste and helped us pull the nets in, fish spilling over, filling both boats till they were on the verge of sinking.

&&& We were astonished!

&&& My teacher sat in my boat, fish flapping all about his legs, taking the scene in as though he were watching just another day’s catch.

&&& Minutes earlier, I had doubted him. It was one thing to heal the sick like Elisha did, but who manipulates creation like this? The only answer I could come up with was Elohim— Adonai—YHWH!

&&& I was beginning to toy with the idea that the sinless, holy God of creation was sitting before me in a fishing boat, unphased by what had just happened. I stared at him, my mind in a liminal space. Then the cataclysmic difference between me and my teacher—my God overpowered me. It was too much. I collapsed to my knees and felt the words force themselves out.

&&& “Depart from me, Lord! I’m a sinful man.”

&&& Like Isaiah, I realized my uncleanness. Bowing my head to the left, trying to escape His stare, I waited to be annihilated.

&&& Then he spoke, His voice calm. “Don’t be afraid. From now on, you will catch men.”

&&& That was it.

&&& I looked up at him. He was throwing a small fish back into the water.

&&& Again, like Isaiah, I realized I should have been obliterated, but there I was—still kneeling. And, to make it more perplexing, whatever he meant by “From now on you will catch men,” he seemed to have plans for me.

&&& I stood up slowly, feeling the heaviness I had not even realized I had carried lifted from me. I gave orders to the other boat to head back to shore. Then I took hold of my oars and began rowing, my whole being a confluence of stupor, reverent fear, and anticipation for what was to come.

&&& On reaching the shore, he stepped out into the shallow water, looked back at us, then said with a nod, “Come.”

&&& James, John, and I left the boats with our partners, forsaking everything to follow him.

&&& The next time we got in a boat was when… Well, that’s a whole other story.