Words of The Lamb magazine

by Martha LaBine

Stained glass windows
and tear stained cheeks,
the organ is alive
whilst mine have been shutting down for weeks.

Reciting aloud the daily devotional,
today’s lesson begins,
“going to mass is nonnegotiable.”

Singing hymns and praise,
we join hands,
vowing to change our ways.

They’ve taken away my autonomy,
I shall make my move after the homily;
my life I will choose to dedicate,
though not to this place,
it does not resonate.
Instead, I shall choose Him,
a gleam only His Son can replicate.

As the candles submit to flame,
I am seen in a new light,
I am seen as something to tame.

To their denomination,
I am now an abomination
and, although I love Him wholly,
still I am told,
“You are unholy.”

I must repent if my lips defile their chalice,
my conversion from this branch
deems me deserving
of a blessing of malice.

“Peace be with you,”
though not with me,
I tried to stay nailed to this pew
as they received His blood and body,
but, despite my threats to disrupt,
I was forced to stand and walk up;
arms across my chest,
signaling to the congregation
it’s me they should detest.

Sentenced to a confessional
and having no choice because,
“it’s traditional”;
an attempt to pull me back,
absolved of nothing,
for my sins, I am attacked.

Forgiveness is not free,
although it’s what they preach,
it does not apply to me.

Baptized in oil and incense,
“Martha Martha, you were raised better.”
is the congregation’s defense,
though they leave the plank in their own eye,
never addressed
because it’s me, they deny.

The golden child they turned against,
a debtor sent on retreats
so as to perfect repentance.

In the words of the banished priest,
“There’s always one in children of three
who strays away,
destined to fulfill
the role of the black sheep.”

Brothers and sisters, I didn’t know
you’d be this vicious when grown,
aiming to govern my views,
though I still praise the same One on the throne.

Now I walk in my faith alone,
teetering—
for the rest of my life—
on the verge of being disowned.